It has been many years since we discovered our sons painful struggle. We had no idea that he was living a life of isolation, confusion and fear. Isolation due to his inability to trust and believe that he wouldn’t be hated. Confusion because how he felt didn’t line up with anything he knew or experienced. Fear. Would someone find out and hate him?

Since asking Nate if he was gay, we’ve learned a lot. We’ve learned how very wrong we were. When you don’t share in a relationship with anyone “different”, it is far too easy to make false assumptions. We are guilty. We did make assumptions. Knowing and loving someone identifying as LGBT changes everything. We have met so many wonderful people through this experience. We have some unique and beautiful relationships that would never have happened otherwise. We have seen and experienced the grace-filled love of Christ and we have been accused of not loving because we don’t mirror a particular belief system. We love Nate. Do we agree on all things LGBT? No.

We know that our son has been deeply hurt and some of that pain is a result of our differences. Our intentions have never been to hurt Nate. He is our son. We love him and nothing will ever change that.