Ah yes. “Love the One You're With” by Stephen Stills made its debut in 1970. I was stepping into my rebellious years and in the blindness that accompanies youth, I took it to mean anything goes.

There are various opinions as to the original intent. Stephen Stills called it, “a good times song, just a bit of fun”. Interpretations of “being in the moment and appreciating the people around you” and then the more popular notion;  getting physical with the one you are with. 

I don’t think I need to ask Stephen Stills what he meant when he penned the song over 50 years ago. Who knows, maybe the way he lived back then and what he thinks now changed? Five decades ago I was not looking for a relationship with God. I did not “do” church once I reached 8th or 9th grade and it would be years before I stopped allowing culture to be the voice I listened to.

After becoming a parent, I realized I wanted to do better, to be better. The desire to change and “do better” resulted in my going back to church. It was a willingness to change my thinking from what I allowed myself to believe and then decide I wanted to make choices based on firsthand experience. 

Who I discovered is a more accurate statement than what I discovered. First I discovered Jesus. A second door unlocked and I discovered who I really was and what my very personal relationship with Jesus looked like. Knowing this is a lifelong journey is energizing and encouraging. I will never reach completion, and I can learn and grow and change more and more without age being a factor.

Following Jesus is sometimes living within a beautiful landscape and sometimes it means navigating steep, rocky cliffs. I’ve been in the desert and had some views from the mountaintop. 

Jesus always loved the one he was with. Jesus called the disciples while they were working. He called Simon Peter and his brother Andrew while they were fishing, and a bit further on he saw James and John (the sons of thunder, they had a reputation) on the boat with their father Zebedee and he called them. They left the boat immediately and followed Jesus. You can find the encounters in Matthew 4: 28-32

Jesus cleansed a leper who followed him when he came down the mountain with the multitudes. The leper asked Jesus to cleanse him. Jesus put out his hand and healed him. There were multitudes around him, yet Jesus stopped and loved the leper on the spot. (Mt. 8:1-4) The unclean, marginalized man was loved and touched by the King of Glory. Jesus was not distracted by the multitude or the religious laws. 

The Gospels spill over with specific encounters of Jesus loving the unloved. It was and is a natural outpouring of his character. Jesus loved then and Jesus loves now. The one he is with and within the one who loves him.

 What does that look like in real time? For me, it can look like I have my day mapped out. I have a list and I have a plan. I’m distracted by a text from a friend who needs prayer and encouragement. Because Jesus is within me, I stop and I connect with the one who needs to be loved. (A disclaimer at this point because I don’t always stop. I have had times when my list, my plan and my selfishness override the gentle prompting within me.) Loving the one I am with can be a brief encounter in the grocery store, a simple smile or kindness in a self absorbed culture. 

Loving the one we are with is a choice we make moment by moment. It is living counter culturally. It is having the mindset of looking around and saying, “Oh there you are!”, instead of “Here I am”. 

I love Jesus. I am a follower of Christ. I know that I was loved while I was still his enemy. He loved me first and this love relationship is not based on anything I have done. Jesus is the who and the why and the reason I want to love the one I am with. The fullness of his joy lives where love is. The joy is in the loving, the full giving out of the immense love I’ve been given. Once again, let me be clear about this. The love of Christ is beyond comprehension. It cannot be measured or categorized. It is “other worldly” love freely given by Love Himself who loves the one He is with.

Do you find it a rare occurrence to be loved by the one you are with? Is it easy or a challenge for you to love the one? Why is it hard to allow others access to love us? 

Becky on: Aug 2nd, 2023 10:00am

Great blog! A lot to think about and reflect on.