Our church is continuing to look at the life of Joseph and the relational dynamics that framed his life, the layers of relationships, and the emotional windows built into the life of this family. The favored son knew he was the golden child of his father Jacob. His brothers were painfully aware and as the story unfolds, they hated him so much they were planning to kill him.

Jacob sends Joseph out to check on his brothers a second time. Really Dad? Joseph ratted out his brothers earlier and now he is supposed to track them down? Again.

The brothers were looking out the window of jealousy and resentment. There was a plan to kill him, until Reuben came up with the idea to throw Joseph into an empty well, telling the others it would protect them from the guilt of murder. Reuben had it in his head to rescue Joseph later. 

So here comes Mr. Big Stuff. No ratting out this time, and yelling for his Dad to come and get him isn’t an option. Reuben goes back to tend the flock, and his brothers are still looking out the same window. They “got rid” of Joseph, yet their perspective didn’t change. They still resented him and now an even better idea is formed. In the distance is a caravan of Ishmaelites and now Judah comes up with another scheme. Let’s make a little money on this punk. We’ll sell him and never have to deal with his ego again.

And so it goes, with sons, brothers, parents and in all families throughout the ages. Families of origin, blended families and faith families. Whenever God puts a group of flawed human beings together, there are relational tensions and misunderstandings. Most of us have stories of feeling dismissed, criticized and we build our own emotional windows to look through.

What emotional window do you find yourself gazing through today? Mine has droplets of disappointment dripping down. Someone I love has been hurt and offended and I’m disappointed in how it showed up, uninvited as usual. This was not on our list of things to do or process today, but here it is.

How do we reframe flawed, challenging relationships? First of all, we don’t. It is through the frame of Scripture. The only way to see things the way they really are, without the distortion of brokenness. God has the power to reframe and gives us the ability to see things from an eternal point of view, rather than the temporary.

I needed to step back from the frame of disappointment. My vision from my limited vantage point prevented me from considering the landscape itself. A wide-angle frame that gave me the emotional space I needed.

We will never know what may have happened in the life of Joseph and his family, had the brothers chosen to look through a different window. You can read more about it in Genesis and I encourage you to do just that. The Bible contains the answers to our relational questions, complexities and challenges.

Whatever you are going through today matters. God wants us to be in relationship with Him, with each other and to be glorified through the ups and downs in our lives. Ask Him to show you how to reframe those relationships that seem to keep you stuck. The windows God allows us to see relationships through is always, always best.

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Consider leaving a comment below.