The Journey message series ended yesterday. Looking at the life of Joseph throughout the last few months has been fascinating. Families throughout the ages have always had challenges. People lie, betray, love and support in this mess called family. I remember telling our kids, “You see my worst, but you also get my best”. Regardless of how a family may appear from the outside, there are conflicts and a love so intense it takes our breath away. There is no such thing as a perfect family.

In Genesis 50, Joseph and all of Egypt mourned the death of Jacob for 70 days. Joseph was a prominent figure, and the Egyptians understood the magnitude of his loss. Personally, I believe if our culture would adopt some of these practices, we would all benefit. Here’s the thing. We experience a loss and our lives change. Radically. What we once had is gone. Life will not be the same.

Sometimes grief is a deep, gaping hole. Someone we loved deeply is gone. We grieve because we love. Sometimes the grief is the pain of what will never be. I adored my brother growing up. He was a troubled soul and when he passed away, I grieved in various ways, and one of those was grieving what could never be. We would not establish a closer relationship. Because Mike had said yes to a relationship with Jesus Christ, we have peace regarding his eternal life.

Grief looks different for every person. An unexpected loss brings shock. How long this stage lasts is not predictable. Anger. This seems to be a stage of grief that many struggle against. It can produce false guilt and adds even more stress. The blog I wrote on August 14^th, 2023 is titled “The Grief Train”. The gist of it was that we will all be on the train at some point. I can ask God to never bring the train to where I am, in fact I probably have asked Him! I don’t want to grieve, and I don’t believe anyone does. Yet we all will.

So, as people who love and follow Jesus, what is this grief process supposed to look like? I don’t have an answer, because as I said, grief does not look the same for any of us. What should be evident is that we are not walking alone. Seeing others grieve is uncomfortable. It’s awkward and often avoided.

I have been given the gift of walking through grief with others. Many years ago, when our boys were young, our church had several women who lost their husbands. Three as a matter of fact. These were ladies in their retirement years. God prompted me to reach out to them and be present in their grief. I was terrified. I prayed and told (yes, told our omniscient Creator) that I did not need to be a widow to empathize with their pain. That was my very real, but irrational fear.

I believe that is true for many of us. We are afraid of grief, and weirdly think we might “catch” something. If I am with this person, am I going to have a loss in my life? Eventually, yes. We all will. Avoidance does not protect us from the inevitable. It only adds to the pain of the one grieving.

As followers of Jesus Christ, we weep with those who weep. Romans 12:15 says, “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.” It is a statement. Not an “oh by the way” suggestion.

Life and families are messy and stretch us in ways we would never have expected. Our faith community is the place where we do not have to grieve alone. This works well when we are willing to allow others to step into our pain places and when we are brave (and obedient) enough to sit in the pain of the one grieving.

Before the end of Genesis 50, Joseph breathes his last. His life is done. One day, mine will be over. God, please help me be aware of and brave enough to walk with others in their grief journey.

What has been your experience? Have you been the recipient of having others with you during your hard grief season? Have you been the friend walking with someone who has been blindsided with a loss?

Please leave a comment below or email me at 2coronefour@gmail.com